To make a diary of aesthetics- to document my aesthetic evolution and construct an aesthetic manifesto that frames my practice and potentially contributes to the fields of aesthetics and painterly inquiries. Waiting for and conjuring inspirations - movements that take a picture, a concept forward. This is the goal of this writing. It is an attempt to outline a potential formula for the creation of new forms, if such a thing is at all possible.
But first, several definitions come to mind that will need to be made clear:
FORM -the visible shape or configuration of something; a particular way in which a thing exists or appears; a manifestation; bring together parts or combine to create (something); make or fashion into a certain shape or form.
NEW - not existing before; made, introduced, or discovered recently or now for the first time; not previously used or owned; of recent origin or arrival; already existing but seen, experienced, or acquired recently or now for the first time; unfamiliar or strange to (someone); just beginning or beginning anew and regarded as better than what went before; reviving another or others of the same kind; superseding another or others of the same kind, and advanced in method or theory.
AESTHETIC/S - concerned with beauty or the appreciation of beauty; giving or designed to give pleasure through beauty; of pleasing appearance; a set of principles underlying and guiding the work of a particular artist or artistic movement.
MOVEMENT-an act of changing physical location or position or of having this changed; the activities and whereabouts of someone during a particular period of time; a change or development; a group of people working together to advance their shared political, social, or artistic ideas; an act of defecation.
To define something is to give it form. Much like painting defines its shapes, terms have shape too. I hope to give shape to new or re-contextualized terms as much as I hope to generate new or re-contextualized forms. A text has a form and Cixous knows. A text performs her form and Cixous knew. A poetic inquiry into the unconscious of a still young naive painter. I’m looking for something, and I have the patience to wait. I have the gumption to struggle with it, for it.
I don’t want it to fit into any one singular canon- the writing, the painting. You know, single vision is worse than double vision or many headed monsters (Haraway). I don’t want it to be easily located on a plot point. Maps show territories already determined. My map is still being made. My location is totally uncertain. I use uncertainty and dislocation as an ally in discovering what it means and what it can be to make paintings in a totally territorialized, squelched and forsaken contemporary art world. I don’t really want to be found, I don’t want to be plotted, planted or stuck. Freedom of movement is by all means the essential element in (re)producing (new) forms. Obscurity is a friend. The body in gestation is off the map- you are doubled and you are waiting. The painter lives in a state of gestation- waiting for her due date.
Deleuze wanted us to “Bring something incomprehensible into the world!” What could be more incomprehensible than self-willed waiting, continuous gestating, and/or the total agony of creating…
Can a state of being be a thing in the world?
I can’t be objective. I am totally in it.